Tumblr: Legally Aphrodite
by seagurl3
Summary: SOL au content (ish)/ / In which Percy Jackson, son of Aphrodite, wins his first court-case for his sister / / Direct parallel of the Chutney confession and Graduation scene, nearly completely word for word. Oneshot. Rated t for that one censored word. Real word count - 3,013. Ships - Ex-Willercy, Pipabeth, Ex-Willabeth, Apollercy, and Zeus just being Thundercrotch


Harmonia's smug face met Zeus' red one.

"I have new representation."

"Who?" He demanded. The doors to the courtroom rattled and all heads turned as they flew open.

In flashing gold and high-held head glory, Percy Jackson stalked down the path, a folder in his arms. Behind him scampered a slightly distraught Frank Zhang, who was in the standard black and white suit Percy had ditched or a more fashionable one.

"Excuse me," Percy walked through the saloon-style doors, "you're in my way."

Zeus turned back to Harmonia, confused and not very happy. "He's a law student, he can't represent you."

Percy cleared his throat and Frank leaned over the saloon doors, opening a book. "Um, Supreme Judicial Court Ruling 3.013."

"See?" Percy pierced his lips. Zeus scowled as her read the ruling. "Thank you Frank."

Hera tapped her fingers on her desk. "Councilors, approach the bench."

Percy gently took the opened book from Frank, turning to walk up.

"Uh, you're not going up there." Zeus countered.

"Uh, yes I am." Percy tilted his head at the lawyer.

Harmonia smirked. "Oh sorry, did you not hear me. You're f-i-r-e-d."

Hera sighed. "Councilors, now. All of you."

Athena stood up from her desk across the way, walking up to the judge. Percy was already at the bench before Athena, and Zeus followed with a frown. Apollo hesitated, then followed his firm 'leader' to make sure things went smoothly.

"Percy Jackson, your Honour. Rule 3.013 of Supreme Judicial Court states that a Law Student may appear on behalf of the defendant in criminal proceedings."

Athena looked at Percy, scanning his loud outfit, then up at Hera. "Your Honour, I have no problem with this."

"I do." Zeus countered. "I'm not allowing it."

Percy rolled his eyes and turned to face Zeus. "Oh, but you agreed last night. In your office when we were discussing my _career_."

Zeus glared at Percy, his face turning back to the red tone it was just a moment ago. Athena's eyebrows went up, catching the suggestion Percy laid in his statement.

Hera decided to break the tension. "The ruling also states that you need a licensed attorney to supervise you." She looked over at Zeus. "Mister Grace?"

"That I won't agree to." He stated firmly. Apollo glanced at his boss, that cleared his throat.

"I will, Your Honour."

Percy blinked, then glanced back at Apollo, who smiled a little at him.

Hera tsked slightly. "Well then, Mr. Jackson, you may proceed."

Percy smiled and mumbled a thank you, walking back to his new client. The doors at the back of the courtroom swung open softly, Percy glanced up in time to see his mother's walk in, waving a small hello and giving him thumbs up. Aphrodite's face beamed with pride, and Sally gave him a tired smile. Percy waved back softly, as Zeus walked past.

He paused at the desk, then turned to Harmonia. "Have fun in jail." Then he proceed to an empty seat a few pews behind Percy.

Percy's confidence plummeted as he remembered last night. "I wouldn't put some fashion majoring child of love in my case for anything other than their looks."

"Mrs. Gardner, you do realise what you're doing, right?"

The pink eyed girl smiled proudly. "Absolutely."

The doors open again, but this time it was his two favourite sisters from cabin ten. "Oh my gods, there he is. Perce!"

Drew and Lacey dashed up, their bags swinging, their pastel pink and purple outfits shimmering in the florence lights, and their hair done up in a fancy fashion. "We came to see your trial!" Lacey whispered.

"Awh how cute, there's like a judge and everything." Drew glanced around, then scowled half heartedly. "And jury people."

"Vote for Perce!" Lacey clapped.

"Ladies, take a seat." Hera pierced her lips. Percy smiled at his sisters and pointed to the empty spots in the pew behind them. Drew guided their younger sister to the seat and they busied themselves with a couple of magazines.

Percy sat down and took a deep breath. _I can do this, it's just a murder trial._

* * *

Katie Gardner's right hand rested on the Iliad, her mossy green eyes watching Percy with a blank glassy look. Hades cleared his throat and spoke.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"

"I do."

"You may be seated."

She moved to seat down, her black floral print shirt ruffling and her sleek black curls brushing her exposed shoulders.

Hera leaned forward. "Mr. Jackson, you may begin your questioning."

Percy looked up nervously from the desk, his folder half opened. He closed the folder and stood up, his body trembling. Zeus' words echoed in his mind, over and over. He had taught Percy everything about the courtroom, how was he supposed to do this?

"Um…" He jumped to the firsts thing on his mind. "Fffirst of all, I… would like to point out that… not only is their no proof in this case, but there's a complete lack of… um… mens rea. Which… by definition… tells that there can be no crime without a…" Percy glanced around the room. Zeus rolled his eyes and leaned back, his cold blue eyes judging his student. Athena scuffed at Percy, her arms crossed and a hint of a smug smile on her face. "Vicious… will."

He bit his tongue and looked down at his folder.

"I am very well aware of the meaning of mens rea, Mr. Jackson." Hera stated, her voice slightly softer. "What I am unaware of is why you're giving me a vocabulary lesson when you should be questioning," she nods her head sideways, towards Katie, "questioning you witness."

Percy swallowed, a lump forming in his throat. "Of… of course, your honour."

He opened his folder, leafing through the pages to find his written notes.

"Um… Ms. Gardner…" he picked his folder up like a textbook, talking a couple of steps towards the stand "When you arrived at your house, um, was your father there?"

Katie leaned forward, looking up at Percy. "Not that I saw, but like I said, I went straight upstairs to take a shower."

Percy glanced back down at his folder. "And when you came down stairs… um… what happened?"

"I saw Harmonia standing over my father's dead body…" she clicked her tongue, glancing at her stepmother. "Drenched in his blood."

"Okay…" Percy scanned his list again, then glanced at the jury. All eyes turned to him, silently wait, silently judging him. "But… Mrs. Gardner didn't have a gun."

"No, she'd have stashed it by then."

Apollo cleared his throat and stood up. "Move to strike that from the record, Your Honour, it's speculation."

"So stricken." Hera nodded. Percy glanced back at the gold haired attorney. Apollo gave Percy a thumbs up and whispered 'you got this'.

Percy took a shaky breath in, turning back to Katie. "Uuum… Ms. Gardner, did you hear a shot fired?" He took a couple for steps forward, his fancier heeled boots clicking softly on the polished floor.

"No, I was in the shower."

Percy blinked. "Okay… so… sometime in the 20 minutes that you were in the shower…" He waved his hands in anxious circles in the air, most likely to be appeared as exaggeration to the jury and audience. "Your father was… um… he was shot?"

"I guess."

Percy bit his lip.

"Your father was shot while you were in the shower, but you didn't hear the shot because… um…" Percy looked around again. "Because you were in the shower?"

He heard a smile sigh of annoyance from behind. Athena crossed her arms and sat back, annoyed at the repetitive questions.

"Yes. I was washing my hair."

Percy's dark blue and magenta pursed opened and his pet dog, Mrs. O'leary Jr., let out a small boof at Katie. Athena jumped back a little, staring at the dog.

Artemis leaned behind Harmonia and looked at her brother. "Where is he going with this?"

"Have a little faith, sis." He reassured her.

Percy turned around and walked back towards his desk, rethinking his strategy. He placed his folder back on the oak and kept his back turned to Katie. "Um… Mrs. Gardner, what had you done earlier that day?"

Katie rolled her eyes and sat back in her seat. "Got up, got a latte, went to the gym, got a perm," she flipped her curls a little. "And came home."

Percy's heart stopped and he looked up, eyes wide. Aphrodite's eye met his and at the same time, they shared the same thought. She nodded towards Katie and Percy got the message.

Percy turned around, leaving his folder on the desk, and put a hand on his hip. "But you got into the shower?"

Athena let out an annoyed sigh, rolling her eyes.

Hera pierced her lips. "I believe the witness has made it clear that she was, indeed, in the shower."

Scuffs and snickers filled the pews. Drew's mouth dropped and Lacey muttered a curse at the audience. Percy smiled.

"Of course, Your Honour." He cleared his throat, walking up to the stand again. This time he moved with a more prideful stride, his boots echoed around him. "Ms. Gardner, have you ever gotten a perm before?"

Katie watched him for a moment. "Yes."

Percy folded his hands together, offering a sweet smile. "How many would you say?"

Katie thought for a moment. "2 a year since I was 12." The 27 year old girl leaned back in her seat, clicking her tongue. Percy's mind registered the number and he tilted his head before she added, "You do the math."

Percy turned to face the jury. "You know a girl in my cabin, Valentine Diaz, got a perm once?"

Some jury members leaned forward, suddenly interested in something other than a murder trial.

"We all tried to talk her out of it," Percy held his hands out in exaggeration. "Curls weren't a good look for her."

He glanced at Katie. "She didn't have your bone structure."

Katie's mother, from in the pews, smiled at this compliment.

"But thankfully that same day, she entered the camp's Beta Delta Pi wet tee-shirt contest where she was _completely_ hosed down from head to toe-"

Athena stood up. "Objection. Why is this relevant?"

Percy looked over at Hera. "Oh, I have a point, I promise."

"Then make it." Hera stated, raising her eyebrow.

"Yes ma'am." Percy nodded, turning over to talk up to the stand. Zeus shock his head, in disbelief that Percy was doing this. "Katie, why is it that Valentine Diaz's curls were ruined when she got hosed down?" He stopped two strides away from the stand and put his hands on his hips.

Drew almost choked on her gum, taking it out and raising her hand with wide eyes. Lacey let out a small squeak, remembering Valentine Diaz's unfortunate day.

Katie glanced at the jury, then back at Percy. "Because they got wet?

Percy's smile dropped from his face, his features morphing from aphrodite sweet to dangerously calm and serious. "Exactly, because isn't it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you are forbidden to get your hair wet for at least 24 hours after getting a perm, at the risk of deactivating the Ammonium Thioglycolate?"

Athena's mouth opened, then closed, then she blinked as if she was taken back. Katie did the same thing, shifting nervously at this.

"Um.. yes?"

"And wouldn't someone who's had, say…" Percy glanced around, first at Zeus, then Athena, then the Jury. "30 perms in their life be well aware of this rule?"

Katie's mouth trembled open, then shut again. Her glassy eyes were wide, not expecting this. "I-"

"And if in fact you weren't washing your hair, as I suspect you weren't because your curls are still in tact, wouldn't you have heard the gunshot?"

Athena started to stand up in disbelief, the crowd in the pews shifting from Percy's raising voice.

"And if in fact you had heard the gunshot, Mrs. Gardner wouldn't have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs." Percy's voice carried around the room, causing more people to become uncomfortable. Katie's eyes darted everywhere, her face turning red. "Which would mean that you would have had to have found Harmonia Gardner with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible, isn't that right?"

Katie stood up, leaning over the stand and smashing here fists against the wood. "She's _my age_ , did she tell you that? How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age?"

 _Joke's on you_ , Percy thought, _I don't have a father_. "But you had time to hide the gun, didn't you, after you shot your father?"

"I didn't mean to shot him," Katie's voice cracked. She turned to Harmonia and pointed at her. "I thought it was YOU walking through the door!"

Gasps filled the room and people broke into startled conversations. Athena's mouth dropped, her grey eyes wide. Artemis' look wasn't far from different, and neither was Zeus'. His blue eyes stared at Percy and the law student took a shocked step backwards.

"Order order!" Hera brought her gavel down. "Order."

"Oh… my… gods." Percy muttered in shock

"Oh my gods." Harmonia muttered with pride.

"Oh my gods." Zeus muttered in disbelief.

Apollo just smiled.

"Holy me." Hera muttered in awe. "Hades, take the witness into custody where she will be charged with the murder of Gabriel Gardner."

Hades took Katie from the stand, putting cups on her wrists.

"In the matter of the State verses Harmonia Gardner…" Hera smiled. "This case is dismissed. Mrs. Gardner, you are free to go."

"Yes!" Drew stood up and cheered. People stood up too, clapping. Harmonia walked over to her little brother, giving him a hug. Mrs. O'leary Jr. barked in happiness, and Percy briefly caught the eyes of Zeus Grace, who was fuming at the ears.

Percy was carried out of the room by the tide, Apollo and Artemis behind him and Harmonia at his side.

A thousand lights flashed as camera crews followed them.

"How did you know Katie Gardner was guilty?" The question caught his ears.

"The rules of hair care are simple and finite, and Dite Child would know the rules."

He broke away from the crowd, heading for the side exit.

"Percy." A voice caught his attention. He turned to see Will Solace, his ex and the very reason he got into Harvard, ran up to him.

"You… did great." The blonde said. "Extremely well, babe."

Percy smiled, tilted his head. "Awh, thank you."

Will cleared his throat. "I'm sorry… for saying what I did. Annabeth and I… we didn't work out, and I realised I made I mistake."

He took Percy's hands into his own. "I love you, Percy."

Percy smiled softly. "I love you too."

Will went to say something, but Percy's smiled dropped.

"But if I'm going to be a high-top lawyer by the time I'm 30, I need a boyfriend who isn't such a complete d**khead."

Will's face dropped and Percy ripped from his grasp, stalking off to the doors and leaving into the sunlight.

* * *

3 years later, Percy stood up on a podium for all to see. He looked around, catching the faces of everyone in his class. Chiron waved for Percy to start his graduation speech, a smile on his face.

"On our very first day at Harvard, a very wise professor quoted Aristotle - 'The Law is Reason free from Passion'. Well… no offense to the old guy, but in my years at Harvard, I have come to find that Passion is the key ingredient in the practice of studying law. And in life. It is with Passion, Courage, and Strong sense with self that we take our next steps into the world. Remembering that first impressions, and stereotypes about parentage, are not always correct. You must always have faith in people, but also faith in yourself. Congratulations, class of 2017…" He paused, glancing over the room. "We did it!"

Everyone broke out into applause, cheering and clapping. Percy's eyes met Annabeth's. She smiled, and he remembered when she told him earlier. 'Piper and I… I mean, your sister from camp, we're going to get married. Thank you so much for helping me see that the big rock isn't always the best."

His eyes moved from Annabeth to his mother, Sally that is, who was wrapped in the arms of a taller man with glasses. "We're expecting a daughter, Percy. You're going to be a big brother." He was happy for his mother, he knew that she'd have an easier time raising Laurel than she did at raising him, when she was 16. Paul was a good man.

He noticed his other mother at the back of the room, filming his with her phone. Her smile was brighter than her eyes. He smiled back at her.

He noticed Zeus at the back of the room. This was his last year at Harvard, the humiliation that Percy had, not only taken his court case and won during his first year, but also was accepted into his son's law firm, which was the most prestigious in all of New York.

Then he looked at Apollo, his future boss. He was next to Chiron, talking to him about something. Percy's heart fluttered, he was lucky to have Apollo as a good boyfriend. Unknowing to him, Apollo planned to propose that night.

Finally, he looked at Will. Will was graduating with no honours, no recommendations, a GPA average of only 3, and no spouse of any sorts. He was off to go live with his mother in Nevada, and he'd be lucky enough to get a good job at somewhere other than a diner.

Percy took his blue and purple tassel graduation cap off and flung it up into the air. Dozens of hats followed in suit.

Who ever said that a son of Aphrodite couldn't be a lawyer?

* * *

 **An: Do I have an excuse for this? No. I am fully aware that I should be making real content for SOL but frick do I love myself a nice au crossover.**


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